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Beer Quotes:
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"Buy a man a beer and he wastes an hour. Teach a man to brew and he wastes a
lifetime." |
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"Beer, helping ugly people have sex since 1872."....always
works for me |
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Lady Astor, aghast at a party. "Mr. Churchill your drunk!" Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass
by the morning. You, however, will still be ugly." |
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"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink." Lady Astor to Winston Churchill |
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"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it." --Churchill's reply |
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"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken
out of me." --Winston Churchill |
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"People who drink "light beer" don't like the taste
of beer; they just like to pee alot." --Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI |
I feel sorry for people who don't drink.
When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all
day. --Frank Sinatra |
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
sober.
--William Butler Yeats |
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his
friends. --Ernest Hemingway |
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
keep your
mouth shut. --Ernest Hemingway |
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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. --Dean Martin |
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Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.--Anonymous |
| Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella |
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
himself a
pleasure.--Ambrose Bierce
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.--Anonymous |
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I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.--Anonymous |
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to
thank her.
--W. C. Fields |
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What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?--W.C. Fields |
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Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.--Anonymous |
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde |
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman |
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Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.--Anonymous |
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.--Tom Waits |
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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?--Stephen Wright |
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven....
--Brian O'Rourke |
He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato |
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin
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If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer
shoot out your nose.--Deep Thought, Jack Handy |
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as
well with pizza.
--Dave Barry |
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if
you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a
beer."
--Frank Zappa |
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart |
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Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.--David Moulton |
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Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.--Kaiser Wilhelm |
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I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.--Homer Simpson |
I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan |
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All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.--Homer Simpson |
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Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! (chugs beer)--Homer Simpson |
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Beer Facts: |
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon
4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey
month" or what we know today as the "honeymoon". |
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Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb
or finger into the mix to find the right temperature for adding yeast. Too cold, and the yeast wouldn't grow.
Too hot, and the yeast would die. This thumb in the beer is where we get the phrase "rule ofthumb".
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly,
the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle
down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's". |
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Beer was the reason the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock.
It's clear from the Mayflower's log that the crew didn't want to waste beer looking for a better site. The log goes
on to state that the passengers "were hasted ashore and made to drink water that the seamen might
have more beer". |
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After consuming a bucket or two of vibrant brews they called aul, or ale, the Vikings would head
fearlessly into battle often without armor or even shirts. In fact, the term
"berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse, and eventually took on the meaning of their wild battles. |
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In 1740, Admiral Vernon of the British fleet decided to water
down the navy's rum. Needless to say, the sailors weren't too pleased and called Admiral Vernon "Old Grog", after
the stiff wool grogram coats he wore. The term "grog" soon began to mean the
watered down drink itself. When you were drunk on this grog, you were "groggy".
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Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some
service. "Wet your whistle", is the phrase inspired by this practice.
Now you can appreciate the importance of BEER throughout history. |
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Great Britain Beer Festival After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the
brewery presidents decided to go out for
a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey, Seņor, I would like the
world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to
him. |
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The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The
King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. |
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The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring
water, give me a Coors." He gets it. |
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The guy from Guiness sits down and says "Give me a
Coke." The bartender is a little taken
aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask
"Why aren't you drinking a Guiness?" The Guiness president replies "Well,
if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
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